divineguitar

lots of things circulating in the noggin’

Yesterday i went to the rodeo to record ‘los kolaches,’ what i’d consider i fusion between country, tejano and polka cover band small town crowd pleasing goodness.

Driving through Hallettsville I was taken back to high school, it was the city where all the cool dances were, the dances I’d get dress up for but seldom go.  Instead a friend or so would bust loops listening to the cool cd at the time.  finding companions was important, but i guess it played second fiddle to staying away from the beaten path, and i guess the latest soul asylum or whatever album in the deck was too hard to trade for two steppin’, even if there was belly rubbin’ associated.

wondering if i cheated myself all that time, wondering if i put more time into that scene i would have met my sweetheart, been happy three kids deep in a selfless routine.

my brother in law gave a prediction at one time, he said a few years ago, ‘in 5 years, there’s an 80 percent chance that you’ll still live 100 miles from where you grew up, there’s a 15% chance you’ll still be here but be somewhere in texas, 4% chance somewhere in america, 1% chance you’ll be overseas.’

knowing that in about 12 days i’m touching down in Venice, and will live in Italy or Germany for the next 5-10 years is finally sinking in, – its tough emotion considering i’m close to all of my family.  knowing that i’ll miss seeing nieces and nephews grow up, the jovial conversation with brothers and cousins, home cookin’ and the like.

a big thing that’ll be different, familiarity, or lack thereof.  its certainly easy to function in the world, any armchair warrior can do it, there are plenty mile markers to help along the way…but to truly gain perspective for a different culture and their contribution to the whole is a challenge and all sorts of things need to fall in place.

its something that i feel i owe myself, for all those inner thoughts and feelings i’ve stole from myself over the years, i want to let them all out and live life.

a few things i’ve considered over the years, which by one song a few nights ago can be clumped in the misconception or contrarian bucket.  i’ve always been a fan of radiohead’s tune ‘true love waits,’ its haunting, energetic, sentimental and all the other ingredients a good hopeless romantic love should have.  the contrary, ‘no true love waits,’ and just like the cowboy in the rodeo, you gotta grab that bull by the horns, park that car and join the dance.

life and love don’t have to wait, i know curve balls and sliders will come — the mitigation is to not swing at them. the proper course of action is to wait for the 3-1 fastball right down the pipe and smack it out of the ballpark.